Helping Children Deal with Tragedy

Personal and international tragedy is difficult enough to deal with as an adult -- explaining things to young children while caught in your own emotional struggle is even harder. 

When I sat down to try to explain terrorism to my 7 year old, I started by explaining that a few bad people had set out to hurt strangers just to scare everyone.  We spent a very long time talking about the tens of thousands of good people who are reaching out to help in any way they can.  We cuddled on the couch and talked until Tasha had no more questions -- I think the cuddling did more than the words. 

As horrible as things like the recent terrorist acts are, at the same time it's wonderful to see the kindness, compassion and courage of the vast majority of the people in the United States and around the world.  Try to focus on these attributes of humanity when talking to your children. 

It was difficult for my husband and I to tear ourselves from the television.  But we realized how important it is to keep up the regular routines in the home.  Suppers must be made, baths given, and bedtime stories read.  Nothing helps young children more during crisis than some semblance of normalcy at home.  This doesn't mean you should ignore the events that are going on, but if you read a bedtime story to them each night -- now is not the time to stop.  Make sure you spend at least as much time with your children as you normally would -- and if you notice them exhibiting behaviour like sleeplessness, inconsolable crying or regression (behaving younger than they are) you should spend additional time with them.

Like all of us, children want to feel like they're helping too -- in my oldest daughter's words, "How can I help the good guys?".  I've included a few ideas that I've used to help the girls feel like "one of the good guys" in all of this. 

Angel messages in a jar - Age 4+ - prepare these messages in a jar for home, church or classmates to remind all of us that we are not alone in this.  A few inspirational words read right before bed each night help young minds rest easier.

Angel Coin Jar - Age 6+ - make this jar and take it to school, church or around the neighbourhood collecting donations for the Red Cross.

Lollipop Angels - Age 5+ - make a number of lollipop angels and sell them as a fundraiser for the Red Cross.  For those of you in the United States, use White and Blue tissue paper and red ribbon to make the angels (white wings, blue dress, red ribbon bow around the neck)

Cone Angel or Shapes Angel - Age 3+ or 18mo+ - for those who've suffered the personal loss of a loved one or who have loved ones working in difficult or dangerous locations.  Prepare the cone angel, with the photo of your loved one's face instead of the template face.  Thanks to Genelle for this idea.

Handprint Unity Wreath - Age 2+ - remind children they are not alone

Other Angel Items you may find useful:

American Angel Paper Craft - Age 2+

Angel Calendar pages with inspirational quotes

Angel Posters/Coloring Pages

Angel Printable Greeting Cards (Generic Cards:  Missing You, Get Well, Deepest Sympathy, etc)

Patriotic Crafts

When faced with a country-wide tragedy, remind children of the national pride you all feel.

USA Candle Craft   Age 3+

USA Handprint Wreath   Age 2+

USA Mobile   Age 3+

USA Wreath   Age 4+

Links to Other Sites: