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Is My Child's Behavior 'Normal'?
Thanks to Nancy, a child psychologist and on-call school counselor for sending this article in!
Being normal isn't always all it's chalked up to be, but sometimes parents wonder if the emotional outbursts, flights of fancy and mood swings their children experience are par for the course or something to worry about.
Here are some general developmental milestones for elementary school to help you understand your child's progress over the school year. Keep in mind that every child is different and may not fit perfectly into this framework.
[Grade 1] [Grade 2] [Grade 3] [Grade 4] [Grade 5] [Grade 6]
First Grade (Age 6)
Where They Are
The average six-year old is extremely egocentric and wants to be the center of
attention. She:
- Wants to be the "best" and "first."
- Has boundless energy.
- May be oppositional, silly, brash, and critical.
- Cries easily; shows a variety of tension-releasing behavior.
- Is attached to the teacher.
- Has difficulty being flexible.
- Often considers fantasy real.
School isn't just about academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At six-years-old, your child is learning to understand himself. You can help by encouraging him as he:
- Develops a positive, realistic self-concept.
- Learns to respect himself.
- Begins to understand his own uniqueness.
- Gains awareness of his feelings.
- Learns to express feelings.
- Learns how to participate in groups.
- Begins to learn from his mistakes.
Second Grade (Age 7)
Where They Are
At seven, kids begin to calm down a bit. They:
- Begin to reason and concentrate.
- Worry, are self-critical, and may express a lack of confidence.
- Demand more of their teacher's time.
- Dislike being singled out, even for praise.
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping her grow socially. At seven-years-old, your child is continuing to learn about herself and others. You can help by encouraging her as she:
- Develops a concept of herself.
- Begins to understand others.
- Gains respect for others.
- Builds relationships with others.
- Develops a sense of responsibility.
Grade Three (Age 8)
Where They Are
The average eight-year-old is explosive, excitable, dramatic, and inquisitive.
She:
- Possesses a "know-it-all" attitude.
- Is able to assume some responsibility for her actions.
- Actively seeks praise.
- May undertake more than she can handle successfully.
- Is self-critical.
- Recognizes the needs of others.
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At eight-years-old, your child is learning how to set goals and understand the consequences of his behavior. You can help by encouraging him as he:
- Explores the relationship of feelings, goals, and behavior.
- Learns about choices and consequences.
- Begins setting goals.
- Becomes more responsible.
- Learns how to work with others.
Grade Four (Age 9)
Where They Are
Nine is a time of general confusion for kids. Nine-year-olds:
- Want to put some distance between themselves and adults, and may rebel against authority.
- Need to be part of a group.
- Seek independence.
- Possess a high activity level.
- Can express a wide range of emotions and verbalize easily.
- Can empathize.
- Can think independently and critically, but are tied to peer standards.
- Begin to increase their sense of truthfulness.
- Are typically not self-confident.
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping her grow socially. At nine-years-old, your child is learning how to make decisions and set standards. You can help by encouraging your child as she:
- Begins making decisions.
- Gains a greater sense of responsibility.
- Sets personal standards.
- Develops personal interests and abilities.
- Develops social skills.
- Learns to engage in group decision-making.
Grade Five (Age 10)
Where They Are
The average ten-year-old has a positive approach to life. She:
- Tends to be obedient, good natured, and fun.
- Possesses a surprising scope of interests.
- Finds TV very important and identifies with TV characters.
- Is capable of increasing independence.
- Is becoming more truthful and dependable.
- Tends to be improving her self-concept and acceptance of others.
- Forms good personal relationships with teachers and counselors.
School isn't just academics. Your child's teachers are also helping him grow socially. At ten-years-old, your child is developing communication skills and becoming more mature. You can help by encouraging him as he:
- Improves his listen and responding skills.
- Increases his problem-solving abilities.
- Begins to undergo maturational changes.
- Gains awareness of peer and adult expectations.
Grade Six (Age 11)
Where They Are
The average eleven-year-old is heading towards adolescence. He:
- Shows more self-assertion and curiosity.
- Is socially expansive and aware.
- Is physically exuberant, restless, wiggly, and talks a lot.
- Has a range and intensity of emotions.
- Is moody and easily frustrated.
- Can relate feelings.
- Is competitive, wants to excel, and may put down "out group".
- Exhibits "off-color" humor and silliness.
- Teases and tussles.
School isn't just academics. At eleven-years-old, your child is making the transition to adolescence. You can help by encouraging her as she:
- Copes with changes.
- Transitions to adolescence.
- Works on her interpersonal skills.
- Handles peer groups/pressure.
- Develops personal interests and abilities.
- Takes on greater responsibility for her behavior and decisions.